Kick Ass? *Orgasm*

I was wet between my legs.

I shuddered from the waist down as a scuba clad nerd fired machine guns from a jet pack at a man built like a tank. My brain melted and I had the sensation of hot water being poured over my head down into my very bones. I was numb and tingling simultaneously.

I wasn’t even masturbating.

No, ‘Kick Ass’ was THAT good.

Yeah, it was sick and moral-less with more violence than it would take to explode the brain of an 11 year old, video game playing boy. A young girl stabs grown men in the neck with a lengthy blade while dressed in a mini tartan skirt as a sex kitten in a tight red dress flashes the bad boys at the nerdy, hormonal teenager who fires a tazer into the eyebrows of a coke dealer… Creamed wouldn’t describe what was going on in my pants.

My heart raced, my breathing became heavier, I moaned as the sheer awesomeness of it all pummelled into me relentlessly, growling in my ear how much I liked it this rough. I did. I really did like it this rough.

I didn’t give a shit about the direction, the script, the plot or the dialogue; does it really matter what anyone says when you watch an 11 year old girl take out 8 suited goons using fire arms and general AWESOME?

I perhaps wasn’t orgasming for the same reasons the paedophiles were up the back, furiously tugging on their mini cocks at the thought of hitting on hit girl. I was orgasming because of awesome effects, martial art, bullets, blood, sickening violence and idea of dressing up as a super hero.

Nothing about that film was right. Everything about that film was right because of it.

April 12, 2010. Tags: boobs, costume, Kick Ass, masturbation, orgasm, sex, Superheros. Uncategorized.